Wednesday, 6 December 2017

Mitali ki shadi

Monday, 4th Dec 2017,

A day that'll be remembered for a long time. A day that'll be referred to as “the day where it all began”. A day that changed so many lives forever. That's the day Mitali got married and that's the day when it felt like life is really catching up with all of us. From outside, it was a normal wedding but it was special for so many people for so many reasons.
It was a wedding of someone who was is a mother figure for many people. Someone who guided and supported us all the time. Someone who made it her responsibility that we don't mess our lives up.
Watching someone so special, so genuinely happy made us believe in fairy tales. It made us believe that happy endings still exist.
Watching her smile and cry at the same time felt like it's time to grow up, it's time that we own up our responsibilities. It's time to be self dependent, because the one we were dependent upon, needs our support (just for a while).
Watching her take pheras made us all emotional, not only because Mitali was getting married, but also because it marked the end of an era. An era of carelessness, an era of immaturity, an era of dependence and childish things. An era of hanging out with each other, anytime, without a care. From here on, everyone would get married one by one and we'd all start our own family and get occupied with our own responsibilities. We won't have time for friendly hangouts and get togethers and it would all seem like an episode from past life.
And when at bidai, you can't differentiate between friends and family as they all are crying, you know that you're blessed. Blessed to have you in our lives Mitali.


Congratulations once again Mitali and Shivam. Wish you all the happiness in the world. 

Saturday, 30 September 2017

"Passion"

Everyone on this planet wants to do something meaningful in life. But what is meaningful? The answer, in most cases is to find something you're passionate about and make it your "meaningful". But real life experience suggests that finding your passion is the hardest thing to do. People change job after job, interest after interest but they don't find their passion. So, how is a large community of people functioning if it's not able to find its passion and is still appearing to do something meaningful? How are some people troubled because they're not happy about not finding their passion and at the same time some people are extremely happy (on the surface at least)? Is being better at faking your own mental status, the answer? Or after a certain point in time, people really stop thinking about "meaningful".
It is a scientifically proven fact that your level of enthusiasm gets lower and lower with age. The enthusiasm that you had in college is not the same now when you're working to earn your living. Some might argue that it takes a different form with time but being at a stage where you have to provide for your family, really kills your will to do the meaningful, unless of course, you've found your passion.
And let's say that you do find your “passion”, but for how long can someone go on repeating the same thing, doing the same job again and again? That means you'll be forced to find some other “passion” all over again. Isn't it a bit paradoxical?
What do you think?

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Entwined - A story in reverse



Date - 29th April 2017
Place - GTC Banquet hall, Delhi.

"Navjot.. Would you like to grow old with me?"asked Harsh and all eyes present in the banquet hall were on me. I knew this was about to come, it was not something new but the moment he said it, the way he said it, the way his eyes were shining with joy and excitement, I got goosebumps then and there. I didn't notice but seeing him like this had put a bright smile on my face. My eyes widened and my thoughts were flying high in the sky of unimaginable dreams and expectations. I think this is what they call the "butterfly feeling", I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second to let the feeling sink in. I opened my eyes to see him kneeling down with a ring in his hand. My heart started thumping as my hand raised itself automatically and I murmured the words, "Yes, I most certainly would". He placed the ring on my finger and the whole room got filled with claps and cheers. I was still looking at him, trying to grasp everything that just happened. Soon, it was my turn to give him the ring, but I just could not take my eyes off him, I was looking deep in his eyes searching for something that I had always admired, his love and his care in a way that only he can show, in a way that only I can see. But that day, I felt something else too. I felt safe, safe in his sight. I felt like home, I felt complete. And I knew, that I have made a right choice. I placed the ring on his finger and got lost in the moment. We hugged for a moment and then came a wave of wishes and gifts, from family, from friends and from friends like family. I saw my mother standing there, smiling. Her eyes fixated on me. I saw my father who was also there, smiling and I thanked God for making it all possible because at one point of time, I thought it would never happen. I thought this day just might not come in my life, ever. I watched Harsh (the oh so charming as he always is) interacting with everyone, and I thanked Ayushi (our cute little cupid), for making me meet him. I then looked at our rings and started dreaming about my happily ever after. 

                                                                   
*****

"Mujhe kuch nahi sunna.. Maine keh diya na.. Tujhe karni hai shadi toh karle.. Mai koi support nhi krunga.. Mai aaunga hi nahi..(I don’t want to hear anything, I’ve decided, I won’t support this wedding. You can very well go ahead and do this, I won’t even bother coming)

Date – 15th March 2017
Place - Bangalore

The words of my father still haunt me. It was the first time I told my parents about Harsh. I tried to explain how we met and how he cares about me. How he always remembers the tiniest of the details related to me, how he understands me and my concerns, how he always puts me before anything and how after 28 years on this immensely huge planet, finally I've found someone who loves me to the core and whom I can't possibly love more and how just being with him makes me feel special. But they didn't get it, all they took from it was the fact that I am in love with a person who's not of our caste. Yes I am Navjot Gandhi and he's Harsh Mahajan,  both of different caste and our marriage was not possible, at least not for them. It was really hard to convince them specially while I was in Bangalore and they were in Faizabad . I told Harsh about all this and after much discussion, he came up with the idea of setting up a family meet. But convincing parents is not that easy. It’s easier to convince Pakistan to be friends once, but parents, they require a lot of time. After multiple hunger strikes and emotional scenes, finally they agreed to meet. They were supposed to meet Harsh’s family in Delhi, but they didn’t want me to join them, they wanted to talk to them alone, without my consistent nagging that is. I agreed thinking it’s at least moving somewhere. I prepped Harsh as much as I could, told him about my parents’ likes and dislikes, what they would ask and how they would ask, despite him repeatedly telling me not to worry. He told me to have faith in him, which I did but I was worried. My whole life was going to be based on that one meeting. I remember I called in sick that day and locked myself in my room and kept staring at my phone. Finally, Harsh called in the evening and told me that everything went well and they(my parents) were looking happy. ”Thank God”, I sighed. I called my parents right away and they told me that they liked him and Harsh really had strong feelings for me. “Told ya!” I said in my mind. They said that they were happy that I had chosen someone as mature and as settled as Harsh. I was on top of the world. Everything was going well, but trouble was about to enter in paradise, the real problems were just rising up the surface. "Money"  being the biggest one. Money is never a problem unless you're fighting a war or marrying your daughter. My father gave up on it, but I was in no mood of giving up on the love of my life, not because of money at least. It wasn't that anybody demanded anything, but our financial condition was not such that we could have borne the expenses of a normal wedding and then it was I  who had taken the stand. Being 28 and having my independent job, I looked over my savings and decided that I'd do it. I didn't ask anybody anything and just said I'll do it. Those were the toughest times. We often neglect all these "little things" when it comes to love marriage, but I'll tell you, that was a head scratcher. I obviously had a small budget and that created some problems. Harsh and I sometimes have some arguments about it but he always understands and comes up with an easy solution. After a month of planning, the day of the engagement finally came. We entered the hall with a little performance of our own. Seeing him in that black tuxedo, I almost skipped a heartbeat. I hope he too did skip a few after watching me in the gorgeous lehnga. (I have to praise myself, I worked hard ;)) After my small (and wonderful) solo performance, it was time, time to walk the aisle, time to live my dreams, time to make him mine. We got on the stage and he said..
                                                                  *****




"But why are you guys forcing me to talk to her?

Date - 12th February 2017
Place - Ayushi’s flat, Delhi.

I asked Ayushi and Harsh after they pushed me out of the room and gave me the phone to talk to Harsh's mother. This was my second trip to Delhi and I was living with Ayushi and her sister for four days now. I came to attend a wedding of my cousin and also to spend more time with Harsh. I started liking him more and more with each day. We were having the most amazing time. We were shopping together, walking in the parks together, waking up super early to board the first metro together, candle lights, rooftops, everything. The nights were the best, It’s amazing how late night conversations help you understand each other in a better way and we needed it. I was enjoying his company and the fact that it was valentine’s week, made it even more special. I got a gift for each day that made me feel special, but like all good things in life, this too had to end. Two days before valentines, I had to leave for Bangalore to get back to work. As much as I wanted to reschedule, it was really not possible, I had to go back to work. I remember my flight was scheduled later that night, so we cherished all the moments that we could. I met his mother as well. She is really a very open minded and fun person, I liked her instantly. It was her birthday that day. We spent the whole day with her, made her cut the cake and shopped with her for hours. It bought me time to know her and connect with her, it was fun filled day. After dropping her home, Harsh came back to drop me at Ayushi's place. His mom told me to call her as soon as I reach back, so I called her back while Harsh and Ayushi pushed me out of the room. "But why are you guys forcing me to talk to her", I asked when they were insisting too much to talk to her. I called her up and started talking. Having no knowledge that I was being stalled, she kept me busy for a while and only when they opened the door of the room, she kept the call saying, "Enjoy the night". Before I could ask anything, my eyes were dazzled by the beauty of the room. The room which used to look like a dumping ground now smelled like roses and to match that, the entire room was lit by red fairy lights. I could see a pile of gifts on the bed, which were wrapped beautifully with red ribbons. I was stunned for a while, but as soon as I started walking towards the room, Stevie Wonder's "I just called to say I love you" brought a big smile to my face and there he was, the man who made it all possible, the man who slowly was becoming an inseparable part of me. He was standing there with a rose in his hand. I went close to him, he gave me the rose and held me to dance. He looked me straight in the eyes. My heart was pounding, my mind was blank, it felt like I was tied in his gaze and I’ll have to do everything he says, I was stunned but I never left his gaze. We started swaying in the music. I removed my heels and he pulled me up on his toes, eyes in eyes, hands in hands. We danced, for a while I heard some squeaking from Ayushi and her sister who were recording these moments on camera. But after sometime, I heard nothing but the music, my body was swinging and my eyes were lost. We swayed there silently. His hand on my back felt warm and his breath seemed like my only source of oxygen. His eyes fixated on mine. Time moved very slowly that night. There are moments in everyone’s life which can never be topped, which become hardwired deep in the heart that nothing can replace them no matter how hard you try. For me that was the moment, it was magical. I blushed after sometime and put my head on his shoulder, "Thank you.." I whispered, "You gotta stop doing that.. You're worth it.." he said. I closed my eyes and I was hugging him. I was emotionally numb, the only thing that I felt at that moment was love, pure white passionate love, the kind that romance novels talk about, the kind that everyone dreams of, it was just perfect. Suddenly I felt he's pushing me away. I opened my eyes to see him kneeling down and asking me, "Will you be my valentine?" But I could not react, I was already lost in some other world. I wasn't listening to anything, I fell in love with the nervousness with which he was looking at me. I just looked at him for a while, then with a broad smile on my face I said," Yes.. Always.." and I gave my hand in his hand. He smiled with a bit of relaxation, kissed my hand and said, "Thank you" (Strike 3)
 Me :-"You've got to stop saying that.. You're worth it.." 
I was happiest person on the planet that night. It’s strange how you fall in love with someone so quick, but after 28 years, you start ignoring the “noise” and really listen to your heart which always tells you to do what’s right. For me this was right, for me, he was right and I left determined to make this feeling permanent.

                                                                *****


Date - 24th January 2017
Place - Delhi.
After much shopping, I thought I should see my mom. It’s been a long time since I saw her, so I asked Ayushi to book my tickets back home, Faizabad that is. I left the next day. I still remember, I was in seat 44 of B3 coach of the Delhi - Faizabad express. I placed my luggage under the seat and lied down. I always have a hard time sleeping in trains, so I plugged my earphones and started playing games. A little later, Harsh, being a gentleman, called to check if I reached safely. We spoke for a while and then the network interrupted. I went back to playing games, knowing nothing about what's about to happen. I dozed off for a while but suddenly I felt a hand on my leg, like somebody was trying to wake me up. I got scared for a moment and then I heard someone calling my name, "Navjot.. Navjot..", I opened my eyes only to get shocked. It was Harsh, right in front of me. I looked right out the window to read the name of the station, it was Moradabad.
 We just met yesterday and here he was, in the flesh at 10.30 in the night in a train that wouldn’t stop for long(strike2). I still remember he was wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans, with a rose and a box of Ferrero rocher in his hand. 

Him - "These are for your mother..", he handed me the chocolates. 

Me - "Thank you

Him - "And this.. Is for you..", he gave me the red rose he was hiding behind his back. 

Me (Eyes glowing with delight..) - "Thank you so much", A bright smile had captured me. I was blushing and was secretly thanking God and Ayushi for this, turns out, she was the one who gave him the Intel of my train. 

"You did not need to do this.." I said(still smiling)..
"I just wanted to welcome you to my home town.." said Harsh teasingly. I blushed again, our eyes met for the first time and we both stood still; silent, Just looking. Though it was just for a moment, but it felt like we were standing there for a really long time. Our gaze was suddenly interrupted by the train horn, which was a sign that Harsh must leave now. I went to the door with him. "Hope you liked my surprise.." he said while standing down, waiting for the train to move. "I loved it..", my voice shaking with joy and bit if sorrow because of the fact that he had to leave. "Travel safe.. And do call me once you reach home.." he said as the train started moving. "I surely will.. And drive back safe.. I want more surprises like this..", I said, face glowing with a bright smile. We both waved at each other and for some reason, I stood at the door till he disappeared. I looked at the rose that he gave me and felt like a million feelings of happiness were hugging me. I felt special and loved. With these emotions I typed him a message saying, "Thank you so much for making me feel this special.. Really means a lot.". "You're worth it" the reply said and I couldn't be happier. I closed my eyes to savor the moment and slept like a baby.

                                                                  *****
Wake up Navjot di, it’s already 4. Bhaiya will be coming to pick us up, you have to get ready as well, wake up.” said(read shouted) Ayushi to wake me up for our first meeting.

Date- 20th January 2017
Place - Ayushi ‘s flat, Delhi.

Normally, a guy reminds the girl about the date, but Harsh need not do that, because Ayushi was always there to remind me about our meeting.
Yes, I was in Delhi. I came to meet Ayushi after a long time, but this time it was not only about Ayushi, this time it was about me and the rest of my life.
Once I reached her place, Ayushi “advised” that we (me and Harsh) should meet somewhere so that we could get to know each other. So, we planned to go out with Ayushi and her cousin Sheena. He was supposed to pick us up at 6 and it was already 4 which meant that we were getting late ;)
To say that the thought of meeting Harsh was not in my mind would be lying. I was thinking about it in the car, while sleeping and now while getting ready. Not because it was something that I rarely do, it was in fact the 7th time I was meeting a guy to think about marriage. The last 6 were my mom’s choice, but this time it was my own choice. I was feeling many things at once at that moment but not jeopardizing my friendship with Ayushi was my major concern. Though she was always nagging and annoyingly right (read right on money) always but I did not want to lose her. So, I asked her, “What-if things don’t work out? I want you to know that I trust your judgment but I’ll have to really think hard before committing anything” I told Ayushi before leaving for our night out. “I know Navjot di, don’t worry, take as much time as you need. There’s no pressure and I’m always with you no matter what” she replied to calm me down. We hugged and I got relaxed a bit.
We were all ready when Harsh’s message read,” I’m here, come out.”
We all (Me, Ayushi, Sheena and Harsh) went to a mall first. I wanted to buy some things so I suggested shopping. Sheena and Ayushi very quickly teamed up and went in a different section, leaving me and Harsh alone in some other section of the mall. It was awkward at first but then we broke the ice. We talked about his family, I got to know that his father had passed away long back. Then he told me about his mother, he referred to her as the “spark of the family” and told me that I would really like her. He told me about his fitness regime and how he is a fitness freak (he’s kinda hot that way). At no point of our conversation did he come across as an impulsive person, he always seemed sorted, clear and stable. He seemed interested in listening to what I had to say rather that keep on blabbering about himself (which normally happens on a first date, everybody tries to woe the other person). He valued my views about marriage and why I delayed it for this long. I liked his chivalry, he came off as a true gentleman, always putting my choice first. I told him that if we go through with it, I’d like to keep working as I don’t want to be dependent on anyone for anything. He was very supportive about it and said that I could continue working as long as I want, there’s no pressure. Besides, his sister-in-law is also working. Then we talked about favorite movies, serials and all the other little things. All this don’t matter in a conversation, but it helps building a base for a more deeper conversation. He helped me shop and never made me feel uncomfortable. I have to say I was not very sure at that moment, but I wanted to meet him again for sure.
It was a fun filled day, everybody enjoyed and it ended with a heavy dinner after which everybody felt like going to sleep. So we went back to Ayushi’s place where Harsh dropped us all off. “So, I’ll see you next time”, he said. “Next time? I thought we were meeting tomorrow”, asked Ayushi. “Yes, we were, but I almost forgot that I have to leave for Moradabad to attend my friend’s wedding tomorrow”, he said and Ayushi’s mood was already spoiled, ”But why? Can’t you skip it?” she asked. “No I can’t, he’s my childhood friend, I’ve already missed his engagement, I can’t miss his wedding”, he explained to a sad Ayushi. “When will you be back?” asked Sheena, “Next week”, he said. “But Navjot di will not be here till then”, said Sheena almost reading my mind. “I know, but I’m sure we’ll get more chances to meet”, he said while looking at me and I nodded with a smile knowing that I can’t stop him from leaving. “I’m sorry for all this. I wanted to spend more time to know you, but I guess some other time maybe..”, Harsh said while turning towards me. “Yeah sure .. It was nice meeting you”, I replied and pulled my hand out for a good bye handshake, “Same here.. Message me till next time?”, he asked while shaking my hand. “Sure.. Why not!”, I replied with a smile, ”BTW you can also call her on her mobile”, Ayushi “suggested” as everybody chuckled.
Don’t worry bhaiya, we’ll take care of her”, said Ayushi as we all waved him goodbye. He went off to his home as I watched him turn the car around. “That means we get to do more shopping tomorrow. Yea!!” screamed Ayushi and her love for shopping( which is almost infectious)





                                                                   *****



"Hi Navjot, Harsh here.. Ayushi's brother.. I think she might have told you about me

Date- 19th January 2017
Place - My flat, Bangalore.

Harsh called and I went blank. I got so nervous that I didn't say anything for a few moments. It’s not that I cannot talk to guys but this was unexpected. I tried to talk to him, but the only words that I could manage to get out of my mouth were, "Hi Harsh, I'm sorry my phone's battery is quite low.. And I'm on my way back home.. I'll call you back once I reach home.." Although I was home but to this date I honestly don't know why I said that. I was so nervous I was sweating. "Is that okay with you..?" I crossed my fingers and thought "Here goes everything." "Yeah, sure no problem." said the voice on the other end to slow my heart beat down which probably was audible, even to him. "Oh.. My.. God.." I cried and noticed my hands waving three times, just like Janice. I rushed into the washroom and washed my face. I looked myself in the mirror and told myself, "You can do it.. He's just a guy.. And there's no pressure.. Ayushi also said if things don't work out . There'd be no hard feelings.. It’s better to talk first and meet later.. Unlike mom's forced setups.. Where we get to know about each other later.. You can do it.. He's just a guy.. Just be yourself and power through. "Assuring myself I picked up the phone and dialed his number with my sweaty hands. 


Me - "Hi Harsh, Navjot here.."

Him - "Hi.. You reached home?" 

Me - "Ugh.. Yeah.. Just reached".
I was already regretting it, Should I tell him the truth?
Him - "So.. How are you?" 

Me(glad he changed the topic) - "I'm fine.. You?" 

Him - "Yeah.. Fine"..
And then we both paused, silence. No one spoke a word for I guess 30 seconds. (The longest 30 seconds of my life) But then I took a deep breath and continued on. We both talked about the line of work we were in, family members, hobbies, friends and of course, a lot about Ayushi (Something that we had in common). 

Him - ".. So I'll see you tomorrow in Delhi?" 
Ayushi had told him about my plan of coming to Delhi.

Me - "Yeah.. Sure.. I mean if I can get up for that early morning flight.." 

Him - "Oh it’s a morning flight.. So when do you have to leave home?" 

Me - "I guess 4am tops.. So I have to get up at 3.."

Him - "So you better start packing.." 

Me - "Na.. I'll pack whatever I can in the morning.. I'll just go to sleep now.. Otherwise I won't wake up in time.." 

Him - "Don't worry.. That flight is important to me too now.. I won't let you miss it.. You take care and go to sleep.." 

Me (confused) - "Ugh.. How are you going to get me out of bed.." 

Him - "You just go to bed.. Leave the rest to me." 

Me - "OK but fair warning.. I'm a sound sleeper.. I don't get up easily.." 

Him - "That's fine.. Now good night."

Me (smiling) - "Good night."
I didn’t think much about what Harsh said and went off to sleep.
It was dark and I couldn’t see anything, but suddenly I heard some noise, some music, some sort of tone, my phone’s ringtone. I slowly opened my eyes and  without even trying to recognize the number, I answered the call..


Me:- “Hello ..”(still sleepy)
Voice :- “Good morning, finally you got up.. This was my hundredth call to wake you up .. ”
Me(still sleepy) :- “wake me .. Who’s this?? ” I asked, slowly coming back to my senses.
Voice :- “Arreh it’s me Harsh.. I told you na I won’t let you miss that flight.. ”

Me(recognizing the number):- “Harsh.. Hi good Morning .. I actually forgot to save your number, so couldn’t recognize ..”
Harsh :- “Heh .. that’s ok .. Now get up and start packing .. You need to board that flight .. do tell me once you reach Delhi .. Ok .. ”

Me(yawning) :- “Yeah .. sure .. Thanks for waking me up”

Harsh :- “No problem .. ok bye .. travel safe ”
Me :- “Sure .. Bye ”


I kept the call only to see his 29 missed calls(strike1) Someone really wants to meet. I looked at the time and realized that I was getting late. I got up from bed and started packing things. I quickly changed into my “airport look” and called a taxi to leave for the airport. The morning breeze made my day . “I really love travelling and specially these road trips .. It really brings out the best in me.. I want to travel the whole world .. Maybe I’ll open with this statement.. he’ll definitely get scared ..” I thought, thinking about my rendezvous with Harsh.
I reached the airport on time (thanks to Harsh) and I boarded my flight. I informed Ayushi about my flight and she said she’ll come to receive me. 
One and a half hours later, my fight finally landed. I came out of the baggage counter after collecting my bags and called up Ayushi, but she didn’t receive my calls. I was starting to get frustrated, I looked here and there for Ayushi but she was nowhere. Though it was a morning flight, the airport was really packed with people waiting for others. Suddenly I saw, WAITING FOR NAVJOT GANDHI written on a chart paper.  I walked towards it thinking that it’d be Ayushi. I snatched the chart and was about to yell at Ayushi for making me wait, but it was not Ayushi who was holding that chart, it was Harsh.




                                                                      *****




Being an independent IT professional, I always believed that our life is the result of our conscious choices, that we write our own destiny, that everything is in our hands and there's nothing like fate. But boy was I wrong. 

Date - 12th January 2017
Place - My office, Bangalore.

"No mom.. I won't meet anyone now.. You've seen what happened the last time.. I'll find a guy on my own" I told mom while setting up my 
shadi.com profile. I was fed up of meeting guys I don't know, so to just get her off my back I had to send a screenshot of my profile on shadi.com. To be honest, I was never in a rush to get married, I always thought it would happen when it happens. I collected my things and got up from my seat to leave office. Just then I got a call from Ayushi, one of my best friends in college. "Happy birthday Navjot di.. " she said, that's right it was my birthday. Mom's call was so long and tensed that I completely forgot about it. "Thank you.. Where's my gift?" I asked not knowing about what she was cooking. "I have planned something special for your birthday.. Me and dad were talking about you and the fact that you're looking for someone to get married.. And guess who's also looking to get married? My cousin brother Harsh." "So?" I asked. Again not knowing where it's going, "So.. Meet him and give it a try.. If it goes wrong.. No hard feelings." “Ayushi, you know how I feel about marriage. You know how my mom keeps trying to set me up with random guys who have a rich background but they themselves have no grace. I think it’s a bad idea.” I said almost determined to drop it. “I know Navjot di, but I also know my brother, he’s a good guy and I think it’ll be a good match. Please just for my sake, meet him once, please!” Ayushi was one of those "friends like family" also kind of stubborn. I knew she wouldn't let go till I say yes, so I told her to send me his profile link and I'll see. "Great, I'll definitely do that.. And you are anyways coming to Delhi next week.. You can meet him too." she "suggested". I asked if she had told her brother about this and as expected she said, "Arreh I'll tell him, but first I had to tell you." I told her ok we'll see about that and went on to board my bus home. I reached back home, feeling nothing but the tiredness from the long journey. Someday I'm gonna be lucky and there'd be no traffic on silk board. I thought while jumping on the bed. Suddenly a whatsapp notification caught my attention. It was Ayushi's, "Bhaiya was asking for your phone number.. I've already sent you his fb profile link.. Let me know if I should give him your number.." I was too tired to express anything so, I checked his profile, “Harsh Mahajan, hmm..  seems like a normal,  Kinda cool guy.. Works at at Dell International Services, Noida.. Likes.. Dislikes.. No relationship..” That's it, the end of intel Facebook can give about anyone. If I had learnt anything in life, it was not to judge a book by its cover. But Ayushi was vouching for this guy. So, I thought I should give it a try. Just to shut Ayushi up.. I replied.. "ok Mahajan.. Give him my number.."


Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Back To The Future

Today, an incident made me realise that it's time to take up all my responsibilities and fulfill all the duties I had been running from. It made me see my future in front of my eyes for the first time. No, it was not my marriage, it was not my baby's birth and it was not like I was stepping out to set up my own startup either; it was a simple tech conversation with my dad. My dad, a successful businessman, a loving father, a provider, a better human being than most of us, a self made hardworking man who once used to sell water is now a giant in the plywood business in the city. A simple normal man who knows everything else but is not aware of the android technology, which is a child's play now even for a six year old. But due to the need of the hour, he is now starting to use and learn all these things and as expected he's finding it quite hard to get used to it. He keeps asking all these things like how to save contacts, how to send a photo on whatsapp, how  to share a photo on Facebook etc, etc. I understand that he's doing it for the first time and it's natural to struggle in getting hold of it all, but sometimes it's so funny that I find it hard to control my laughter, but once I'm done helping, the smile that it brings on his face is something priceless.


Usually, he's busy all day with the work and everything, but once it's over, he really likes to check his facebook and share photos. He daily asks me how to share the photos and which ones should he share. He likes to see his family's pics on facebook and shows them to me every single time. While he's busy checking out facebook, I on the other hand get busy wrapping up the daily work. Today, something was not adding up and I was thinking why, I was stressed about what I had forgotten to enter, while my dad was busy checking facebook and he kept asking me how to send a friend request on facebook. I calmly told him once, but then he asked how to remove someone, and then how to message and so on. While I did not snap on my father (obviously) and answered all his questions, I was stressed, but then watching him checking out facebook while I was working made me realise that this is why I had come back home; so that he could rest and dump all the tension upon me and this is what is going to happen in the future, when the little ones won’t let me work and ask me all sorts of questions. It was then, at that moment, I saw my future and my dad’s past. Watching him smile on his newly discovered knowledge of technology made me realise that he might have felt the same when was trying to make me learn simple little things like walking and eating with spoon and this is exactly how I will feel when I teach something to my child. Seeing his relaxed, tension free face, I felt great and then I looked at him, my dad a 55 year old man who's been doing business since the last 35 years continuously day in and day out, who's been constantly pushing it for his family, who took care of all of us all this time, now wants someone to take care of him, to take all the burden from his shoulders, who now needs someone to let him be a child once again who can play all day on his phone, and that's when it hit me, I read somewhere that life always comes a full circle. All this time he looked after us, patiently sacrificing all his needs so that we can have a tension free and enjoyable life and now he wants someone to look after him so that he can just relax and enjoy like a baby. That's when I decided to try and give him all that. That's when I decided to try and be a loving parent to my parents and then to my children. I may not be able to do all the things that my parents did. I know that he won’t quit anytime soon, but I will work twice as hard everyday to keep all the tension away from him.

Love you dad, someday I'll teach you how to read my blog.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

The Fight for Success

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway


He said it right, no one could've explained it better. The best way to live life is to keep trying to be better than your former self. But this is not as easy as it sounds, you can always become better than everybody else in almost anything you set your mind to, but beating your own self in something is a summit only few can reach. When you go up against your own mind, you really test yourself and if you can go through it, great things are bound to happen. The difficulty in fighting yourself and getting better than your own mind lies in the fact that this battle is fought in the mind, and that is exactly what you have to beat. Every Time you decide to do something, something as simple as waking up early in the morning and going for a walk, your brain always gives you reasons not to. These reasons are always logical to some extent but logic comes from mind, and so to beat your own mind you have to be illogical. Think of your mind as another guy, now tell me how do you feel if some guy says you cannot do a certain thing because of a logical reason? How do you feel when your teacher or your coach or parent or "the love of your life" tells you that you cannot do a certain thing? Hurts doesn't it? And what is your response to that? You get up and give your 200% just to rub it in their faces. But what do you do when your own brain, the part which literally controls you tells you that you cannot do it, that you cannot go for a morning walk because it's too cold outside and how good it feels to just stay in your warm soft blanket? You think of your brain as just another guy who does not believe in you and wants you to stay where you are in life and never get better. This is when you put in all your energy and get up from that bed to do what you want to do, achieve what you want to achieve and then rub it in your own face. Believe me, when you surpass your own expectations, you become something else, there is no stopping. Only then do you get better than your own former self and only then do you achieve true happiness.


We all talk about this big trap of a world that we are inside and how everything sucks, but the reality is that this trap is only in your head, constantly pulling you down and keeping you from achieving what you have always desired, happiness. Don't let the "logical reasons" to get in your way, don't let anything come in your way. Remember,


" To achieve something that no one could, you gotta do what no one could."


Happy New Year.


Keep Fighting.

Keep Getting Better.

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

To Achieve Higher Things in Life

Step by step guide to achieve higher things in life :


1. Clear your head - The first thing that you want to do right after you wake up in the morning is to clear your head and prepare for the day. Just wake up and go for a walk; not a run, not even a brisk walk, just a walk to breathe in all the morning freshness and breathe out all your stress. Just focus on the fresh air going through your nose to your throat and then to your lungs and feel all the stress and the negative thoughts coming out of your mouth as you breathe out. You will feel your mind getting relaxed and clear of all of the hectic schedule of life. This will help you calm down and reflect clearly upon the problems of your life. Do this daily, make it a ritual and do not skip for anything. You will find significant change in the way you look things in your life.


2. Watch a motivational video - As soon as you come back from your refreshing walk, hit the washroom, go for a shower and after shower the first thing that you need to do is, watch a motivational video on YouTube to sustain the energy that you felt while walking in the fresh morning air. Energy is like a flame it can't keep on burning unless you supply it with fuel continuously and motivation works as a perfect fuel for the flame of your energy. When you watch a motivational video, your mind starts focussing even more on the tasks at hand and this is the recipe of building (not having) a great day.


3. Remove all distractions -


You are the only problem you will ever face and you are the only solution to it.


Now that you are focussed, you don't want to lose it by getting distracted by other things like social media. In today's world of connectivity, it is almost impossible not to get distracted by the continuous status updates, check ins and photo uploads. Every second there is a new notification from one social platform or the other and you can't help but look at these things and when you check these fancy photos and all the awesome stuff that others have been doing, you feel dejected, you feel like all you've been doing in your life is work, work and work and these are the people who know how to handle it well, how to keep it balanced, they are "living" their life. This puts you in a bad frame of mind and it lowers your productivity rate as well. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life and for all you know, this all can be fake, an empty and shallow attempt to get validation from the social media that their life is going well and they are on the right track.
Are you that kind of a person? No. You are a person, who does not care what people say about you. You should only care about what you say about yourself and that is all that matters. So remove all these distractions, just log out from all of your "social" media accounts and keep doing what you do best, work !!


4. Work Hard - Nothing can be accomplished just by vision, you have to work to make that vision come to reality and trust me there is no substitute for hard work. You work with all your energy and speak with all the experience you've got. There maybe times when you are wrong but don't let this become any kind of factor for you, just put whatever you have in your mind out in the universe and you will learn the right way; by making mistakes and not by someone else's experience. This way you will make your own footsteps and you would stay away from the vicious trap of the "blame game"


blame game
noun informal
a situation in which one party blames others for something bad or unfortunate rather than attempting to seek a solution.
"he elects to play the blame game but that isn't very constructive"


5. Be productive not busy - You have a tendency to be busy, even when you are not. This happens to everybody, you just keep thinking that you are busy and this gives you an excuse for not doing what you want to do. You keep saying that “My life is so busy”, “I have no time to do this”, “I am completely swamped right now and I cannot focus on anything else”. That's not true, go deep in your heart and think how often are you REALLY busy?, how often do you do the work that you say you are doing? You'll find the answer is not very often. This is where you are losing all your time. This is the time that makes you unhappy about life, it feels like you are not doing anything for yourself and you are just running on autopilot .This time can be utilized to get better, to do things that you really want to do and have a sorted life. So, whenever you doze off to some other land thinking about things that you don't have any control over, just give yourself a "mind jerk" (it's equivalent to a motion jerk but only to mind) and get back to the present scenario and ask yourself, "Are you busy right now?" and if the answer is no, you start to think about the things that you always thought of doing and take a step in that direction and you will find yourself smiling with satisfaction.


6. Make rituals and stick by them - All this talk of self improvement and progress is not going to work as long as you just think about it and do nothing about it. Everything in life is accomplished by doing and not thinking and so you need to act for it if you really want it to happen, because always remember,


We don't get what we want, we get what we have to have.


And this is achieved by doing things, things that will take you one step closer to what you desire, things that will test you, things that will break you, things that will make you think about alternatives and want you to quit. These are the only things that will get the job done, you know it, your mind knows it and your body knows it too.


But the human tendency is to always look for things that demand less work and yield huge success and that's why your mind will keep on telling you all the cons of doing what you are doing and would try to make you quit. The mind will continuously remind you about how much pain there's going to be, how much trouble you have to get in, how difficult the task is and is not for you, it was something that you only thought was made for you, but it's not. It's all in the brain, your heart can change that. You just need to religiously follow your rituals
Rituals are a series of actions or type of behavior regularly followed regularly and invariably to get what you have to have.


Finish your rituals no matter what because success is a habit and you have to do it enough number of times to be successful.


You want to wake up early, your alarm bell rings and your hand automatically goes onto that snooze button and even if you do get up, your mind starts giving you excuses (sometimes even logical excuses) for not getting up and you get back to bed. Sounds familiar? It's you, it's us, it's everybody. So what do we do to make it stop? You get up early in the morning as soon as the alarm bell rings and you get up from the bed and quickly, without giving it a thought just go to the washroom, just don't give your brain any time to think about an excuse for not doing it, just get up quickly from the bed and you go about your work. This is called a ritual, something that you don't say no to no matter what's the brain is saying, you just don't and when you have such rituals only then you will see changes in yourself, only then you will get better. So, in my opinion setting up rituals should be the first thing on your list and remember, don't say no, just don't.
If u want to have something that nobody has, you have to do something that nobody did.


7. Be obsessive - The real satisfaction lies in progress, in getting work done and that is exactly how you succeed, by getting work done and there is no better way to do it than to be obsessed about it. People will tell you that you are insane, even the best of your friends might laugh at you for doing what you love doing and being so obsessed about it,  sometimes even your parents lose faith in you and try to stop you from doing what you are doing and make you do what others do, because that is normal, that's safe. But you don't want safe, you don't want normal, you want something more so keep your head up no matter what and keep doing what you want to do, don't worry about the risks and the mistakes, they'll all seem to be worth taken in the end.Any dream that drives you to be obsessed  to a level where you cannot think about anything else is the dream that's going to be a reality, YOUR REALITY. Be known for your obsession. Let people talk, you stay obsessed and stay on track with whatever you love doing, because that's how you are going to crack the code for this world.


Ask yourself, how long are you going to continue this reckless behaviour? How long are you going to be tempted by other things? How long do you want to wait for that perfect personality that you want to change into in future? Remember, if you don't start acting on it now, chances are that you might never get it. So get up and don't think about anything else, follow your own rituals, be obsessed and work hard till you get there and even after that, because nobody else is going to do it for you IT'S ONLY YOU!!



Only you can DO what YOU are supposed to do. Only you can get what YOU deserve. SO GO GET IT!!